Determination

The topic for the last month or two surrounds the word determination, although not in the sense that I thought it would. The sport I love called running has sure become a great metaphor for how life is today....

As the time went on and the desire to go longer distance evolved, different races became appealing. One day while feeling motivated, I agreed to sign up for the 100k at Dizzy Daze. 62 miles aroung Green Lake in Seattle. Knowing full well I had not run more than 31 miles in one shot and not more than 56 miles in a weekend, it still looked doable. Soon I realized that I would be doing 3 ultras in 3 weeks, and BIG ones too! That is the way that feels good though, to make the most out of every weekend when the time is your own, so that we did.

I am blessed to have a man in my life that is full of passion to make the best out of a day as well, so off to Way Too Cool we went! This would be the first chance at experiencing the biggest ultra in the country. 560 runners, and good ones too!

Just before Way Too Cool, the Ultrarunning 2008 review came out and I couldn't put it down! All of the fast times from the races around the country from 24 hours to 50k races were right there on paper. Wow, how fun is that? BUT, it turned on the competitor in me and made me realize that I do love to compete, and be the absoute best I can. It is in my blood and certainly in my spirit. During this point, however some sort of ill was going through my body and sucked the life right out of my muscles, especially in my much needed legs... So even though I toed the line intending to attack this race and see how I measure up to some very fast runners, my body didn't respond with the same intensity. I even found myself walking a bit at 3 or 4 miles in! But, the race went well and we had an awesome time. I will remember forever coming out of the woods and seeing the arch at what I thought was the finish and having still 1.3 miles to go! The worst part is I knew the course from reading the description so I knew there was an aid station right at the end, but when I heard the music and people, I was stoked to be DONE! OOPS... Determination-you bet.

Next came Chuckanut. This event is in my home town, only 20 minutes away. The race is huge, and lots of who's who from the Northwest run this race. I was thinking about not even running it, as my body just felt lifeless, sore, and all around punky. The night before was my 37th birthday, and we celbrated with a great dinner in Anacortes. That morning, I was still on the fence about running the race, as I just did not feel right, and the night before took it out of me fighting mental and physical drama. Something told me that morning, that I could fight it out, so I picked up my number and entered the race. Miraculously, my body somehow overcame the contamination inside just before the start and I started feeling GREAT! The sun was out, the air was crisp, and I was now destined to have a great day. Finished 2nd after going out 7th or 8th and had a fantastic time! Determination-Yep.

On to Dizzy... Joe found a way to make it to run with me on my first long run, and I was so thankful. We woke up to awful weather, but it didn't even matter, I was really excited about the challenge of the long miles. Round and round we went, slogging through rain, wind, and cold. As most people know, I hate the rain, and really hate to be cold. However, today, it didn't matter, I really wanted 50+ miles. On the 16th lap, we came to the conclusion that the weather had done us in and we couldn't bear the thought of the most generous volunteers sitting in the cold any longer while we went in circles for another 1 1/2 hours. We happily hung it up at 51.2 miles knowing full well I could've done 100k no problem. Satisfaction-absolutely. Determination-yes sir.

The next day, we chose to loosen up with a few miles on a railroad grade in Sedro Woolley. Joe had just asked me how my legs were. I had just finished responding that they were good, I happily felt just fine after my first 50+ mile day ever. It wasn't 5 minutes later, we saw a lady walking with 2 prosthetics down the trail.... Hmmm, changes the perspective of sore legs huh? Wow.... It was right then that the meaning of determination came apparent. Not surprisingly, when we stopped to chat with her we found out she was a marathoner in the past. That is what this sport we choose teaches us-to push through the tough stuff-to know that the wall is temporary-to acheive what we think we can't-to do more than others say we can-to NEVER set limits based on assumptions-and to get back up no matter how far we fall. THAT IS DETERMINATION.

Life's challenges give us an option to accept or deny them. Acceptance is the first step. The second step is the hardest-push through them no matter what-succeed anyway.

~Determination

Quotes

I often find quotes that either inspire me or are written in such a way that I feel impelled to save them. I found this one recently:

I remember after a particular run feeling so immensly satisfied, cleansed

and whole. It was as if I'd been somewhere else. I'd visited a boundless, timeless world where movement was so effortless, it seemed I could run forever.

Runners

What a thrill it has been to be surrounded by a group of people with such a positive outlook on life. This weekend I had the opportunity to run with Micheal, Steve, Alvin, Eric, Allison, Owen, Charlie, Linda, Arthur, and a couple of athletic running K-9's on Saturday at Tiger Mountain and my friend and confidant Rob Jacobsen at the Birch Bay Marathon on Sunday. In the 8 1/2 hours we were out "playing" and the 3 1/2 hours we were dodging cars at Birch Bay (while still having a blast no less) we all talked about everything from the world's successes-problems, races coming up-races past, our dreams-mistakes, friends-foes, and everything else in between depending on the moment. But what struck me in all of the conversation is it was always stated in the postive or hopeful. What a joy! We meet so many folks in our daily life that do not seem to want to be happy, do not want to enjoy the world we live in and naturally, if we are not careful, we get caught up. I can say for myself, it's not worth it and I feel proud to be associated with such great people as we are in the running (especially ultrarunning) community. You all have changed my life and given me a new outlook.... THANK YOU.

Challenges

Ever been in the "place" where nothing seems to flow the way it should? Small things seem to bring big consequences, when all of life's positive anchors don't bring you out of your funk? Your favorite song fades off into the distance of your hearing and the sunrise isn't as welcome as normal. One of our biggest challenges seems to be our own head. We conclude that we are the center of the universe and everything revolves around us. We must control, fix, change and manipulate every situation we come in contact with. Those are the hardest times to get a real grip on life, and the most satisfying when you are able to put your hands up, ask for help and relinquish control. It is only then that your pulse goes down, your spirits tend to lift, and you can finally take a breath. This is new for me. I have never been one not to control every situation I come in contact with. Not every situation can be a win or lose. All instances are not battles. One does not have to have a hand in changing everything. I have come to learn what I was raised to believe and chose many times to ignore because of its simplicity; the life lived by the Serenity Prayer. I have had this prayer in my head for as long as I can remember, I just chose to ignore the first line. In doing this I read it to mean that I must pick my battles. By picking my battles I could choose them, focus on them, and win them. Simple right? Well, not so much. In living life this way, life that I predicted was easy. Working hard has never been a problem. But what about those things I did not see coming? What about change? What about hidden obstacles? What about dramatic situations (which by the way I suck at)? What if someone acted in their best interest instead of mine? Then what? My choice in the past: RUN. Build a wall around my heart so it can't hurt and I could move on. Pretty soon that wall gets higher and stronger and nothing gets in.... I will tell you, that is no way to live, no way to see the world. Feels like you must pass by everything because it isn't in your plan.


You may have wondered where this long winded rubbish was going... Well it's simply going straight to the life I have discovered that was right in front of me all along. I still forget sometimes and need brought back to reality, but those times are so much fewer and far between. I am thankful for those people (my good friends and the love of my life) who have shown me this side of consciousness.

I am also thankful for the chance to experience the ever changing sights, sounds, smells of our forest lands in which we run in. They are also an example of how life can work. You never know what is coming, you must keep your eyes up, your insticts active and your awareness hightened. Why on earth would you miss out on what is to come because you are so wrapped up in your own head? You may never get to do this again, but your head will come home with you.....

Balance

As one can probably tell, I speak a lot of balance. It is the thing I personally try the hardest in my life to keep in check. It is also one of life's biggest struggles. Running to me is a privledge, and if one lets it get out of balance it will no longer be that. It is a release, almost euphoric at times, and a great way to spend time each day. It is what Tony Robbins, whom I listen to often for motivation calls the "hour of power" (or hour(s) as we run longer). It gives us time to process daily life, past experiences and future plans. It is a chance to meet great people, and for me that includes someone I have grown into a fantastic relationship with, something I could've NEVER expected. Without the run I know I would be lost. I am thankful everyday that I have it in my life for these and many other reasons. With the external negative stimuli that surrounds us these days it is hard to not give in and allow ourselves to enjoy what we love to do as it takes time away from focusing on the challenges life gives us. Thus lies the paradox, as the run provides us the release we need to tackle the challenges with greater piece of mind.....

Running Farther

As with anything we do, the chance to do it better, longer or more often comes into play. We become consumed with the things we love to do and sometimes let them get out of balance with the rest of our lives. Running can fall into this category very easily as it is a fantastic release and an enormous endorphin rush. There aren't many better feelings than the satisfaction of a great run. As we get accustomed to the miles the nature is to want to go farther. For me, I have made a vow to increase the miles only as I am confident my mind and body are ready. I am very excited to say that I am ready for the real ultras and the thought of really long races is stirring heavily in my mind. I am still committed, however to making sure that my running desires stay just that and not another "have to".......

What it Takes

Been pondering the "training" question lately as I had signed up for a 50 miler which has since cancelled due to course problems. There are tons of places to find information, and tons of different opinions about what to run, how fast, how far, and how much rest is required. One could get VERY lost in the information overload. I hope I am right in that sticking with what works is the best way to try something new. In my limited experience, the journey is the most important part of life, and in this journey, keeping it fun is the most critical to not getting injured, not burning out, and maintaining excitement up to and for race day. I came to the conclusion that while I may add a few more miles and extra strength training, it is going to stay fun no matter what! We do this for enjoyment, and it could easily become a second job, or a "have to". No thanks, it's very much a "WANT TO"!

Holiday Weeks

What a great two weeks of running, Crossfit, and family. Today went on a fantastic 3 hour run with Alvin, Joe and one of the best trail running women in Washington, Monica Ochs. What an honor to have such fantastic running company to enjoy this wonderful sport. I feel very fortunate.

2008

What can I say that expresses the sheer joy of how 2008 took shape. Better than I could've planned or dreamed of is the only logical comment. In a nutshell: (not in any kind of order by the way) I have found a niche in running I hope to cultivate as time goes on into a lifelong passion, maybe go farther, maybe faster, maybe more, maybe less, maybe just as it is right now as there is no question that I truly enjoy it.

I have met the man of my dreams. I have learned to see the world around me and take it in instead of just passing through. I have grown VERY close to my wonderful parents as friends and a daughter. I have great people to work with who value what we have all built in a company. I have great health, both mentally and physically today. I am able to enjoy the fruits of my labor in past years when my life's meaning was work. It has enabled me to live life easier today. I have developed some great friendships this year that I know will last a lifetime. I have learned about Faith in its most basic form.

Most of all, I have learned that to be, just be sometimes is to live. What a privilege!

To 2009!